Externally Processing My Way Through Life

I think I may have posted my last post a bit too soon. I need time to process, and to let my head get where it's going. Any how, I think I am there now, so let me add.

I have realized that I am deeply passionate about intentional, close, God-glorifying, servant oriented relationships. Obviously. But for some reason there have only been a few brief times in my life where I have gotten to experience the wondrous beauty that is what I so deeply desire. I'm not sure if it's a way to make me more appreciative of God's beauty represented in those times, or if it's a brief insight of what I have to look forward to in heaven. Maybe both.

Either way, I ache for those times. I remember in college having a night of intense worship with amazing women of God on either side of me participating right along side of me, hearing God speak to me and scribbling notes alongside of friends and huddling up with a group of four other girls and intensely praying for and over one another. Oblivious to what was around us, consumed with the Spirit. I loved our bible studies where there was deep accountability, challenging actions and thoughts, pushing one another, inspiring on another. Just being in the presence of people with such deep faith made me feel closer to the Lord. It was almost as if I were walking on Holy ground, those times were so saturated with his presence.

As I have served in different ministry areas in varied forms, pursuing the passion of deep intentional relationships seems to be always with me. No matter how I might try to shake it (because pursuing something that you rarely find can be defeating) I cannot deny the longing.

So as of this week, I have given up denying. I'm giving up hunting and pursuing and moving on to the (with God's grace!) creating.

Instead of trying to find those relationships within ministry settings I am going to make my ministry about creating environments where those types of relationships flourish and teaching others about what they look like. I may not always be the benefactor of it, but to see someone else experience that, I'm sure, will be just as big a blessing.

So in my high school small group, in my Beth Moore bible study, in any area of influence I have, I want to make that a core focus of the group.

After years of pursuing biblical knowledge and wisdom, and attaining a fair amount of it, I've learned that no amount of knowledge can replace or make up for not having those types of relationships in your life. Books don't challenge you after you have put them down. Once you have listened to a sermon, the pastor isn't going to call you and ask you if you did your quiet time. Worship music isn't going to encourage your worship in other areas of life. We are meant to have people in our lives who challenge us, encourage us, pray with us and over us, weep with us, rejoice with us, worship with us, and LIVE with us.

The reason we are relationally oriented is because it is so vital to our spiritual well being. I get chills every time I read Acts 2 where it talks about the fellowship of believers.

2:42 They were devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 2:43 Reverential awe came over everyone, and many wonders and miraculous signs came about by the apostles. 2:44 All who believed were together and held everything in common, 2:45 and they began selling their property and possessions and distributing the proceeds to everyone, as anyone had need. 2:46 Every day they continued to gather together by common consent in the temple courts, breaking bread from house to house, sharing their food with glad and humble hearts, 2:47 praising God and having the good will of all the people. And the Lord was adding to their number every day those who were being saved.

This is how it is supposed to be. This is what relationships should look like, and what we are to pursue.

So while I may not again (outside of my marriage) get to experience the blessing that is a Christ centered and focused relationship, I have seen the blessing that it is, and will help others pursue it. I will teach everyone I can about the way that Christ intended us to do life with each other, I will encourage them and help create circumstances where this can be achieved.

1 Thessalonians: 2:12 exhorting and encouraging you and insisting that you live in a way worthy of God who calls you to his own kingdom and his glory.