Externally Processing My Way Through Life

I'm trying to make my grocery list, which starts out by planning the weeks menus. And I have absolutely no inspiration. This is not good, and rare. Usually I can just pop to a couple of foodie websites and get inspired, or work off of WF's meat specials, but this week...nothing.

So I'm distracting myself from the blankness that enters my brain when I try to think of meals with a blog.

I've been reading a lot lately. I love to read. However, it is hard to do and find time for with two small children around. Thankfully there have been a few nice days where I can unleash Josh in the backyard and get a few moments in.

Some of my reading has been mandatory, for one of my small groups or bible study I'm doing, and some of it has been because my friend almost beat me over the head with one book and out of desperation for my sanity I finally bought it. I'm so glad I did. I'm so glad I have a friend like her, who knows what I need, even when I don't.

All that to say, reading, good books. Thought I would share some of the insight that these books have had that I considered to be worthwhile:


Relationships by Drs. Les and Leslie Parrott:

"If you try to find intimacy with another person before achieving a sense of identity on your own, all your relationships become an attempt to complete yourself."

"If we have not achieved a solid sense of who we are on our own, we are destined to believe one of two subtle lies guaranteed to sabotage all our relationship: (1) I need this person to be complete, and (2) If this person needs me, I'll be complete."


Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend:

I cannot say enough about this book. I used up an entire highlighter on it and I wasn't even halfway through it yet. It helped me have peace about areas I had previously felt guilt about, gave me wisdom and guidance along with scripture to back it up, and showed me areas where I struggle and need to grow in. This is one of those books that I will often come back to, and will always keep with in an arms reach. This is also the first book that I will recommend to any one struggling in any relationally based are of their life. That said, here are just a few quick quotes:

"...boundaries are not walls....but in every community, all members have their own space and property."

"God defines himself as a distinct separate being, and he is responsible for himself. He defines and takes responsibility for his personality by telling us what he thinks, feels, plans, allows, will not allow, likes and dislikes. He also defines himself as separate from his creation and from us. He differentiates himself from others. He tells us who he is and who he is not. For example he says that he is love and that he is not darkness (1 John 4:16, 1:6). In addition, he has boundaries within the Trinity."

"If you feel close and loving, things are probably going well. If you feel angry, you have a problem that needs to be addressed. But the point is, your feelings are your responsibility and you must own them and see them as your problem so you can begin to find an answer to whatever issue they are pointing to."

"We cause pain by making choices that others do not like, but we also cause pain by confronting people when they are wrong. But if we do not share our anger with another, bitterness and hatred can set in. We need to be honest with one another about how we are hurt. "Speak truthfully to [your] neighbor, for [you] are all members of one body (Eph 4:25). As iron sharpens iron we need confrontation and truth from others to grow. No one likes to hear negative things about him or herself. But in the long run it may be good for us. The Bible says that if we are wise, we will learn from it. Admonition from a friend, while it can hurt, can also help."

"We can't manipulate people into swallowing our boundaries by sugarcoating them. Boundaries are a "litmus test" for the quality of our relationships. Those people in our lives who can respect our boundaries will love our wills, our opinions, our separateness. Those who can't respect our boundaries are telling us that they don't love our no. They only love our yes, our compliance."


Okay, enough distraction, back to list writing and menu making. I'm open to tips.