Externally Processing My Way Through Life

I have something that's been rolling through my mind for awhile now, and I keep avoiding it. But I'm just going to put it out there.

Sometime I feel like I am suffocating in the suburbs.

There. It's out there.

The most frustrating part about it is, there is a part of me that wanted, and still wants this.

Then there's this other part that wants to live somewhere crazy, like the inner city, or on acres of land, or in a foreign country.

Maybe it's the rebellious part of me, that's not content to go with the status quot.

I'm not sure what it is but sometime I want to pull my hair out in frustration at the world I live in.

And yet I do some of the same things I am annoyed by. I fit well into my environment. Looking in from the outside I probably am just like everyone else.

Lord help me, I'm so conflicted. Aren't we supposed to be different???