Externally Processing My Way Through Life

I am kind of over having children today.

I know that sounds bad, but it's true. Not that I don't love my kiddos, I do, and would do anything for them, but today... today was one of those days.

At some point (generally) after you are married, you start getting these faint ideas in your mind of how fun having a baby would be. Those inklings turn into wanting, and produce full fledged "gotta have" desire.

Even after your first at some point you regain your sanity and want another one, because at this point, you can handle one. And they are still cute.

Two... it all changes with two. Well, it all changes with one, but it really changes with two. That's when you are really IN parenthood.

There is no more time for the two of you, no more down time, or time to get anything done. Your life is completely and utterly consumed with children.

And sometimes it's fun.

And sometimes it's not.

Sometimes the novelty and joy of being a parent has worn off and you are just in it, and overwhelmed by it. And you are over it, looking forward to the next phase of life.

While we had stopped on our way to STL at a Cracker Barrel, a man sitting at the next table told me "to enjoy this, these are the best days of your life". I smiled and nodded.

But really I thought: who are you kidding? I mean the guy was kind of old, so maybe he had forgotten.

Don't get me wrong, there are things about having little kids that are great, and I try to treasure every bit of it that I can. But I think most people who have dealt with this would readily admit, it's exhausting!

Not to metion, I don't want any period of my life to "be the best". I want to appreciate every phase for what it has to offer, and to make the most of it, glorifying God to the best of my abilities during it. And then I want to move on the next one and do the same, not dwelling on any period, longing for that, but appreciating it, what it did for making me who I am and what God did during it, and continue living my life. Not for the past, not for the future, but for today, and how I can best glorify God in today.

But there are somedays when I am ready for Heaven. Today was one of those days.