Externally Processing My Way Through Life

No matter how good of friendships I've developed here, sometimes I just still feel like the newbie. I'm not sure if it's just my insecurity that makes me feel this way, or well...things actually being that way.

See a big part of what makes really good friends is history. And history I don't have. Not here.

As much as I love living in Atlanta, and being away from home, and the fresh perspective living in two new regions of the country has given me, it's awful hard to have history in a place you have only lived one year. Home has got plenty of history. The city does anyhow, but most of the people that I developed that history with are now scattered across the country. Arizona, Oklahoma, Miami...I've only got one good friend that still lives in STL.

I miss history. Knowing when it's okay to call someone and when it's not, knowing if they prefer to communicate by phone, email, or FB. Being able to say one word or phrase that will immediately send you both into fits of laughter. Understanding why when something happens in their life why it's so much more of an ordeal because of a past thing that it brings up that you know about. Being welcomed into their homes with big hugs from their family where you can all sit around and catch up. Most of all though, I think I miss being known.

Maybe someday I will get some history here. Or maybe not. Maybe there is just something special about the combination of high school and college where you develop deep and meaningful relationships. Something that those of us who dare to follow God's calling to new places must maintain through the blessings of technology.

Sometimes though, the thought of a cup of coffee with someone with history, or just hanging out around a kitchen counter, Bread Co. (where you know their order before they say it), or a girls night at Bahama Breeze warms my heart and makes me homesick.

Today is one of those days.