Back

Well, I'm back. Not that there is anyone that still reads this...but I think that's kind of why I'm back. And among other circumstances that have changed and are going to change.

It's been just over a year and a lot has changed in that time. You can catch up on some of that if you like by checking out our family blog.

I am not about the business of catching up, or maintaining here. This was, and always has been a place for me to come and mentally vomit all over a page and clear my head.

So let's get on with it.

I think I've been reading Ecclesiastes too much. Life is feeling very much as though there is nothing that hasn't been done. Some days, weeks, months or even years we are painfully aware of the fact that we don't belong here, and life on this earth is just not quite right. Ever. And even in those glorious moments where everything falls in to place and you breathe deeply and try to imprint it in your memory, we aren't experiencing greatness in this life, we are getting a breath of heaven and it's glory.

A relationship doesn't make life right, school doesn't make life right, a marriage doesn't make life right, kids don't make life right, friends don't make life right, and the perfect church (which doesn't exist) does not make life right. We are supposed to ache and long for something more and so God allows us to experience the imperfection in this world leaving us yearning for Him and heaven.

Sometimes I beg for more wisdom and insight to understand and the only answer I get is not here. You can't and won't understand here, but soon my child it will all make sense. I wish I had the faith to leave it at that at stop seeking sense from it all.

How I long for the day when everything falls into place and I get it. No more being in my head trying to solve the unsolvable. It will just all click, and He will be creator, perfector and all knowing. Just as He always has been, only I couldn't see it clearly through the cloud of sin we live in.