Externally Processing My Way Through Life

Josh had a field trip this morning to a pizza place. They got to make their own pizzas, see how they were made, and then eat a lot of it.

I always enjoy field trips and parties because it gives me the opportunity to interact with the parents. That may make me sound like a big dork. Most of you know I'm pretty social, but it's also one of the few times I get to hang out with non-believers. I like those opportunities.

One lady I was talking to who I've chatted with before was joking around with me (because I was taking so many pictures) and said I was probably a blogger, and a scrapbooker since I am so "with it". The blogger comment threw me (since, hello...) but I quickly corrected her on the scrapbooking. I think making homemade sugar cookies with all the kids names on it for Valentine's Day gave me a bad rap.

I was slightly amused by the comment. Because in my life I feel like I don't seem to have any of it together. I've got a dozen balls juggling and at any point one could drop.

I found it very entertaining that somehow I could be perceived as being "with it".

But how many of us think that of other people? I know I have a few people in my life who always seem calm, collected, organized and "with it". Isn't it funny how we perceive things? I seem "with it" because I take lots of pictures, make cookies and blog. The only reason I made cookies for Josh's class is because I was already making them for cupcakes and it made my life easier. I spent all day making his and 5 dozen other cookies completely neglected my children and had to go out for dinner that night. My pictures make it to Facebook at best and haven't been printed out for anything other than grandparents. And the only reason I blog is to remember what the heck is going on in my life and get the overflow of thoughts out of my head.

I've been reading "So Long Insecurity" by Beth Moore. It's changing my life. I knew I was insecure in some areas, but thought I did a pretty good job of keeping it under control. Until I read her definition of insecurity. Then I realized I was a hot mess who was ready to have a breakdown at any given point. Her definition virtually pegged me to a tee.

I don't have it together. No one does. That's why we have a savior and why we need saving and grace.

I'm tired of creating standards in my head to live up to and making other people my yardstick to measure up to.

Hoping the book tells me how to stop : )